Didn't go to the library today, for the first time since Tuesday. Needed to get food, so I got tinned stuff and gluten-free bread and pasta. Went home, considered going to the library again but got really tired and slept from maybe half three 'til eight or so.
Which is an important context that my CEP is emerging from. Fatigue. Summers so often begin full of plans and projects, but get derailed (happily) by someone new crashing into my life. On this occasion, this someone new came with small proteins that interfered with various parts of my body, a fever, sore throat, and now lasting fatigue.
Which means my CEP is currently characterised by a struggle against my body. Today my body won, or rather, failed to carry the burden of my will. I don't blame it really, I have been putting quite a bit more stress on it than it is used to, even without the fatigue.
So, in light of my previous post mentioning 'a mode of practice that would be congruous with play or relaxation', it seems increasingly important that I find something like that, at least until I'm less tired.
(Currently I feel a bit too puritan, I think, like I should be pushing myself to work as hard as I can. Perhaps because my current alternative is doing nothing. Not a great thing. But in any case, I resist relaxation.)
So, if I were to do it, find a way of doing this that doesn't exhaust me, how would I do it?
It might be an idea to tie the amount of work I get done to some kind of relaxing reward. That way I could separate the work from the rest and make both more effective uses of my time. But what if I could make my work restful? Is that possible? If it isn't, why not?
We'll see. I'm going to rest s'more now.
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